Thursday, November 22, 2007
Happy Thanksgiving
Happy Thanksgiving! We sure miss the turkey and all of the fixin's...but to be honest, it doesn't even feel like Thanksgiving Day! Instead of the big family feast, we went to visit a buddist temple and a beautiful park. We climbed the 9 stories to the top of a pagoda to see a beautiful view. Daddy carried Fu Tao all the way up and all the way down, even though she is very good at steps! This little girl sure can move! She runs faster than any 15 month I have ever met, and she even alternates feet going up stairs (this info is important to the therapist in me). Oh, and she can even peel her own bananas! Okay, the bananas get a little mutilated, but she can open them quite easily. She hasn't eaten a whole lot for us - I guess that she is sort of on a hunger strike, but when she does eat it is usually fruit, noodles, cookies and crackers. She did eat some french fries at breakfast and some McDonald chicken nuggets for lunch. She is doing a little better today, but she still cries for her mom and grandma. It is heartbreaking. When we are in the hotel room, she grabs our finger and leads us to the door as if to tell us, "Take me home". Poor little one doesn't understand that she is home. She did wave to her big sisters today via Skype, and I know that they will help her to feel more at home. And no worries, little Tao Tao will definitely be able to hold her own! She is a little feisty one! We were able to develop some pictures that her foster family took for us, and there was one picture of her playing with chickens - no lie! She definitely lived in rugged conditions, but I bet she would give anything to go back. Please keep praying for her to love her new home and family. We know that she will, we just hope that it's sooner than later. We had to say good-bye to Meg yesterday...that was very hard. Even though I had never even met her before, I really connected with her. I was very sad to see her go - yet again, more tears shed! She will be coming to the States over Christmas, so hopefully we will see each other - hopefully with a more adapted Fu Tao! All in all, we are hanging in there. We desperately miss our girls, family and friends and can't wait to come home, but we are enjoying China. Thank you to everyone who posts messages to us....we long for more (oh, Camille - I could not find a single can of Pringles in Laibin!). We love you all and hope that you eat some turkey for us! I will try and post more pictures - I know you all want them, but honestly, our focus has been on Fu Tao - we are doing everything we can to help her during her grieving process - we welcome any suggestions!!
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11 comments:
OK you are killing me without the pics!! I think the best thing I did was just to continue to hold her all the time. And just to let her grieve and talk softly to her while she is crying. Shelby always wanted to be outside the hotel as well because I think she had hopes of seeing her foster mom if we were out of the hotel. It is very tough to watch. Since you don't get to visit the foster mom, maybe show her a picture of her and tell her that she is gone now (don't say bye bye, just say gone). That way she will know that you know who she is calling for and she won't be just frustrated that you don't understand what she is saying. Well that is just my 2 cents. Just remember that it does get better every day!
Hey Darcy. I've thought so much of you and how little Danielle is having a hard time. I can't imagine how difficult this is on you. Our Precious Father is with you, rest on Him, he has really big shoulders! :)
Love, Lisa
Hey guys. Thank you so much for keeping us all up to date on everything that's happening. Danielle is truly beautiful and when I saw her picture she reminded me of Liz for a second. Not sure what it was. The kids have played few times and it has been great. We are definitely praying for all of you hoping each day is a little better. Miss you very much.
Love, Cynthia
Steve and Darcy,
It sounds like you guys are doing a great job. You just have to love Fu Tao and hold her as much as she'll let you. I think it's interesting to see in your most recent post that you've been using her Chinese name. It's probably less confusing for her right now if you are calling her Fu Tao. Her whole world has been turned upside down right now and she needs something familiar to hold onto. We bought a Chinese lullaby CD to bring home with us so Hannah could still hear Chinese music when we came home. We miss you guys. Victoria
We love you guys and are missing you, too. We are having a big Thanksgiving feast here (but I didn't power cook and it has taken us a long time to get it ready!!) with my mom and step dad. The girls got sugar cookies for breakfast and are loving that! We will be praying for you and especially for Fu Tao. Please take care and have as much fun as you can!
Hey Darcy and Steve!
(I finally figured out that I can reach you, not just follow your posts! It's cold here...so everything slows down a little!!!) I love being able to keep up to date with what is going on with you guys! It is breaking my heart to hear how tough things are going right now. We are certainly praying for you all. Mikael, Mama, and Bompa left today to head to your house. They are very excited, and I am so glad that they will all be there to greet you and meet little Danielle. Mikael has strict orders from a couple of her teachers to bring back lots of pictures of her new cousin. (I second that!) One of her teachers has a close friend that adopted from China years ago and wants to hear all about your stories and experiences. (I guess Mikael will be writing quite an essay on the way home!) I work with a teacher who is also trying to adopt, so she is anxiously awaiting to hear your experiences as well. We can't wait to meet her ourselves.
It doesn't really feel like Thanksgiving here, either, especially without Mikael around, maybe the "turkey loaf" has something to do with it also. (David's mom went the easy route since there would be so few of us here. Yuck!) Mom and Dad are also feeling the same way...traveling on Thanksgiving rather than eating. ;-) But we have so much more to be Thankful for this year it seems, than some other years. What a blessing to be adding Danielle to our family! Who needs the food? Just wanted to let you know that we are thinking of you (A LOT!) and praying (A LOT). We hope that your return trip goes smoothly and that Danielle comes to a quick acceptance. How difficult to be taken away from the only family that you have ever really known, it must be so hard. The story that you posted before you left really helps to understand what she must be going through. Hang in there, we love you, and God certainly is in this and guiding and supporting you.
We love you!
Erika
Well, it sounds to me like you have the number one tool to help her, love. But don't forget, she is grieving the end of a "relationship" and will need to go through the five stages of grief. I know, that is the social worker in me! But bottom line, you guys are doing great and you have a ton of support to lean on. Don't be hesitant to do so. Happy Thanksgiving, and I hope your trip home is a good and safe one.
Love,
Abbey Blackford
and Family!
Yes, we are eager to see pics - Aisha posted some on her blog and Danielle Fu Tao looks adorable! She is really so cute. So are you all planning to call her Danielle or not? Just curious! Happy Turkey (or duck or fish) Day!
Hey guys, happy Thanksgiving! I am so happy that you have your new precious little one in your arms. I am praying that Danielle will adjust to all the "newness" of everything soon. Just keep hugging, loving, and praying and in God's timing, she will feel at ease. Does she have a blanket or stuffed animal from her former home that she can cuddle? This seems to help ANY child.
Praying for a safe return. See you soon!
Robin
P.S. Darcy, I've loved your thorough descriptions of your journey - It makes me kinda feel like I'm there too!
Taotao sounds so much like my AIYing- we had named her Rose, but at 23 months, she wanted nothing to do with it! She would glare and say BU Yao ROSE! (No want Rose)
Now over a year later she will call herself "Rosie AIYing" but wants everyone else to call her AIYing. I decided that she had lost so much that we would let her keep her name . She may decide to use Rose later.
She was very fiesty, active and verbal and did NOT want a new mama- she already had one if I would take her back thank you very much please...
Daddy and big sister were very "cool" but still she grieved hard for her foster mama and gma and did not like anyone saying I was mama.
It got much better once we left Nanning. She seemed to accept she was stuck with us then and made the best of it.
What was hard is that she spoke a dialect,similar the Guilin dilect but "sharper" and no one understood what she was saying or could talk to her until we visited friends in Guilin and they were able to really explain to her that I was her mama now and, no, she could not go back.
Her grieving is the one hardest things I have ever lived through but she is a mama's girl now and asks to be cuddled and rocked.
Every day will be better and the day after you leave the hotel will be much better!
Hang in there.
Hi Darcy & Steve;
We have taken over the care of your two precious ones here in Atlanta - Liz & Bompa are watching Rudolph and Mikael & Steffi are playing in her room - I am making Mac & Cheese (to win them over)-on your nice new stove! Our trip down was good; good roads, good weather, good company-we are thinking of you all there in China and praying for you all and that the little one will adjust soon. We are so looking forward to meeting her & seeing you. Love you and miss you - I think Cheryl deserves a medal - she worked hard taking care of the girls and keeping things in order. She was ready for reinforcements, I think.
Love, Mom
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